nokids

 It dawned on me when I was about 35 that as despite affairs I still had not found THE ONE, I would have to consider having a child on my own. Not being one to rush anything, it took me some years to come to terms with the idea of being a single mother. I was completely ignorant of the limited nature of women’s fertility. I was very fit and healthy. Apart from being aware that old women did not get pregnant, I had no sense at all that I myself was aging in any way – and indeed, I was often taken to be 10 years younger than my true age, even up to and including the age of 40. So in order to improve my financial position and my career prospects, I decided to retrain as a solicitor, and thus put off any practical action towards getting pregnant for a further few years. Ah! With the benefit of hindsight, I think this was the worst decision I could have ever made… and yet, at the time, it was the most logical. Who wants to be poor with a baby? Perhaps also, even though in theory I had committed myself to becoming a single mother, maybe in reality, I was still just teetering on the brink, and not quite ready to do the necessary.

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